Is it normal to feel alone? I’m not sure but if it is, then I hate being
normal. But I’m not exactly normal am I? I like to be alone, not feel alone.
There is a huge difference between these two, just so you know. Being alone is
where you can think, relax and just chill. Feeling alone is where you feel that
there is no one for you. It’s just you against the world. Unfortunately, that’s
how I feel. All the time.
Sitting alone at the back of the classroom, watching all
my classmates being so happy with their wide smiles and their bright faces. Why
doesn’t anyone talk to me? Am I that unlikable? The only time someone talks to
me is if they want to borrow something. Typical of us humans. Only when they
need something do they do things like talking to me. A dumb, stupid kid at the
back of the class. So what am I to do? Only wanted when they want. Only needed
when they need. Just like a mere tool, used when a job needs to be finished but
after, just thrown into some dark and lonely corner. Why am I not accepted by
them? Is something wrong with me? How am I different?
From the depths of my heart, I feel terrified. Why am I
always like this? Did I do something wrong? Am I just that unattractive to
everyone else? It’s terrible to feel alone. No one to laugh with. No one to
hang out and just chill. Just me, myself and I. What did I ever do to deserve
something like this? I am not the poorest nor am I the richest. Not the
smartest nor the dumbest. I am just an average guy with an average life. So why
me?
Is my life really that uninteresting that no one cares?
Or is there something wrong with my attitude, which makes me so hated? Is there
something wrong with the way I look that creeps everyone out? Or maybe I am
just that peculiar? Whenever groups are chosen, I am always the last. They
forget about me and I am only chosen because my teacher forces a group to take
me in. the my new group members will look at me with those eyes. Cold. Angry. I
can feel their hostility towards me. I just don’t understand. Is the fact that
I exist the reason I am loathed so much? could it be that I do not belong in
this place, but I come from somewhere else where everyone is just like me? Why
did God create such a creature like me to ever walk on the face of this earth?
I am not really sure of what I am supposed to be doing,
but I if there ever was a mistake made, I would most definitely be number 1 on
that list. An accident. More or less the story of my life. But that’s life. And
life is all about going through all these hard moments. Maybe if I just pull
through, I can have real friends in the future.
